when is it over

I am still sore and swollen in the abdomen area, I still am not sleeping right because it is painful to toss and turn like I am used to. I feel like a crybaby, I went to school this morning and then straight home to try and catch up on what I´ve missed. I am nauseous and feeling like I´m sick (you know that feeling when your skin just is kind of painful to the touch) ugh just ugh.

I am also trying to not be deterred by my slight weight gain because I know that it is needed, I am restoring fluids and I most likely lost some muscle mass.

See what I meant by cry baby. But this picture made me laugh silly just now so it will all be good.

56.4 pounds gone almost half way there

Ok so I lost a lot of pounds during this bloody gallbladder thing. But I am hoping I can keep them off. I am even trying to be super upbeat about not having anything in my band. Trying to eat small meals, and rather eat often and drink loads of water.

This awesome picture shows how little I need to lose to be in the two figure weights. So I am now in 223.5 pounds and am super happy about that, my goal weight is 165.3 pounds.

total unfill and second operation

I was just unfilled completely. I had to go back to the hospital on Monday due to continuing severe pain. Apparently a stone got dislodged during the gallbladder removal and went sailing down the bile tunnel and clogged it up. So now instead of being 3-4 millimeters in diameter it is 10 millimeters. So I was sent for an unfill and am scheduled for a ERCP (endoscopic something whatnot) today. I am super scared about being unfilled even if it is just for a short time. I so want to do good, but my evil brain was instantly thinking "mmmmmm subs you havent had subs since your surgery".
Anywhoot heres to hoping I wont gain any weight and I wont have any problems after this surgery. The x-ray technician that unfilled me scared me when he said "well now you have a gastric problem due to not having a gallbladder and we dont know how that will affect the lining of the stomach" and I nearly shit myself thinking well does that mean I might lose my band :(

wish me luck

less pain and loving the scale

I am getting better by the hour. I am no longer on any strong meds, only taking paracetamol (thats acetaminophen in the US). I am not taking the anti-inflammatory anymore. I am still feeling kinda off, not really sure how to describe it, kinda like faint but not ugh lets just say I ´m off.

I am loving the scale these days, but not sure it will stay off. I am continuing to losing weight after I came home from the hospital. This morning it said 103.8 kg (228.8 pounds) and that made me step on it again and then it said 104.3 kg ( 229.9 pounds). I hope that the weight will keep off, because I have been eating since I came back home.

Is it weird that I am a bit hmm not scared but something on those lines about nearing my lowest weight that I was in 2007, I have been to 103.6 kg before that was in May 2007 and then I screwed it up. I think my mom was right when she asked if I was a bit timid about approaching this weight again. My onderland will be 220.2 pounds that´s 99.9 kilos and means I am under the three digits.

Anywhoots, I should try and eat something more. I am so not going by the rules these days, I am eating tiny amounts and often. Also I am petrified of having to go #2 (sorry guys), this scares my now because I am still not pain free, and I am hating on this big cut in my navel.

2 days post op again

this second time post op is way more painful, I am hurting bad and I hope none of you has to have your gallbladder removed. The worst pain is in my back it is killing me, I spent a big part of today just crying and being a bit pathetic, my bf was in school and called me and heard how bad I was feeling and called my mum and had her come over. I just so hope this stronger codeine pain meds we have will help with tonight, I have not slept a good night for over a week now, I want this pain to leave no sooner than yesterday. I lost 2,5 kilos (5.5 pounds) from Friday to Wednesday, I am hoping it will not come back lol that would be a sliver of good coming from all this nasty pain.

Sorry I swear I will start blogging more positive soon, I just need to vent and I am not loving this pain, I so want it gone.

who needs a gallbladder anyways

Well this is gonna be a bit long, sorry guys.

Just got home from the hospital, been there since late Friday night. I had been having massive back pain that meant it was painful to breath. I finally gave up on Friday after 4 days of this pain and went to the ER and there began the endless tests, first they took x-rays of my chest and from that they thought it was fluid build up round the heart and lungs, yeah told me that at 5 am and said go to sleep now, the heart specialist will see you in the morning. Then he finally came and shook his head and said nope your heart is totally fine, the EKG and sonar of the heart are perfect, they just could read the picture properly and he saw right away from the x-ray that I could not inhale deeply and that is what they thought was fluid. Then I was sent for an ultrasound and they saw nothing but my liver enzymes kept coming up wonky on the blood test (that started about 2 months ago, because when I had my blood taken for my check up the doctor saw that the enzyme was up but said it was nothing in an of its own). Then they sent me for another bigger ultrasound and found that my gallbladder was full of stones. So they sent me to the other hospital where these kinds of surgeries are performed. There I was put in a MRI machine and let me tell you, I have never had any problems with small spaces but that thing is horrible, it is so tight and you feel like an elephant trying to fit into a straw. Anywhoot that showed to my relief that none of the stones was stuck in the tubes which would have meant two surgeries for me and an unfill of my band. That was on Sunday and I just had my surgery yesterday, because my case wasn´t acute enough so I kept being put at the back of the list. They even tried twice to have me feed and see if it caused me pain, which it did, I ended up crying in my bed feeling like I was being tortured for no reason and swore I would not eat another meal until that thing was out of my body. Not that I had eaten much, I had been mostly on IV fluid since Saturday night and had nothing to eat on Saturday. So I am so happy to be home even if that means I am in serious pain right now, but that pain will go away. My surgery wasnt the easiest according to the call from the surgeon my bf got, since my gallbladder had chronic swelling and it doubled the time of the surgery.

So now begins a new experimental eating, because the bile that the gallbladder houses helps in the digestion of fat, and without one many people cant eat any fatty foods.

I googled gallstones and found that 1 out of 3 that has gastric bypass develops gallstones and has to have their bladder removed in the first year, I wonder if that is a figure that fits us bandsters. The reason for this happening for the bypass patients is because of less fat in the food according to the article I read.

Here are some pictures I took at the hospital where I was dying of boredom

I managed to get 3 different IV ports put up

 The first IV that was put in itched so much that they took it back out.

It was super creepy to watch these bubbles come down and go into your vain, I have seen too many movies where this happens and you quickly die

My thigh did not like morphine as much as I did, it freaking burns when it is injected, but it was my only way to be pain free for a while