sidelined

I was so happy with myself  after I went and bought myself a exercise ball and weights so I could start my exercise full on. Well the weights are only 20 kg in total, I have had that much weight on me before (in fat) but now I was carrying it up the stairs to my apartment, and what happens when I put the weight box down?? my freaking back goes haywire. I can not make it to work today which is making me so unhappy. I hate not being able to work, not that I feel like I am un-replaceable but rather I don´t want my boss to think I am just slacking and not bothering to work (I have serious issues as you can see).

This is the culprit for my unhappiness and severe pain

I cant wait till my back gets back to its usual self so I can start my new routine. I got posters with both the ball and the weights and I am going to place them on my wall and use them as guide.  

Yikes how can those 20 kg feel so heavy to carry? When it was not so heavy when it was attached to my body in fat.