I have not been on here in a long while. I fell shit faced on my arse and have not done anything good.
I have tons of excuses like, humungous stress due to complications in the sale of our house, working all day and all weekends for a month straight plus extra shifts after 8 hour workday. But none of that is a good enough excuse to behaving like I have.
I have been hiding to be honest. I am petrified I am going to screw everything up. I know as soon as school starts and my bf comes home things will change. But I am still scared and am for some weird reason not doing anything to appease it.
I have been feeling like a psycho, going from "yeah I am doing so good, I have lost 33% of my goal weight in 8 months" to "I am a huge failure and don't deserve any progress". That and I am beginning to see how awful my skin will be, since it is all wrinkly but I keep telling myself this is a slow process and I should be proud of what I have done and keep looking forward. But its just bloody hard.
I am going to start blogging again even though no one might still be reading but I need to be more accountable in this whole process. I need a support system that much is obvious.
I am seeing my surgeon on the 12th and am scared to tell him how bad I have been doing.
Yeah I am feeling quite down and not up to any longer confession than this at the moment. I also have to get ready for work, working till 10 pm tonight.
I am always on FB so I dont know if you are using that as well I am on there but not many know about my surgery so I have not friended any lapband groups that arent hidden. But yeah not sure if I should put my name on here but here it goes on FB search Íris Elva Jónsdóttir
Hopefully I´ll be in a better mood tomorrow for a more upbeat blog or at least a better food day.