gaining

Exams and Christmas and a small amount in my band is not a good combo. I know I should be better at this. But I have to confess that I am allowing myself to eat things that I couldnt with my normal fill. I am up and down on the scale. I am still having rather nasty backpain and my bf is trying to be the best and brings home candy and laufabrauð (leaf bread) and I cant say no when I know it is in the house. I looooove leaf bread with icelandic butter omg that is the best and it is my holiday addiction. Well gotta get back to studying. Excatly two weeks from now I have my first exam and it will be over at noon on December 13th.

fill and a port flip scare

OK so I finally had a fill. Not the one I wanted but a fill non the less. The fill went great, no pain hit the port right away (using x-ray). But then I had to take a mouthful of that contrast fluid and swallow. It hurt like a mother fudger. It was going through OK he said but I was in pain so we decided it would be good to take 0.5 ml back out. Then trouble started. Apparently my port is not lying flat and never has (its always kinda on the side ever since it was placed there) and he had trouble getting back in, the port kept turning away and then he said it was facing its back towards him (cue panic) and it finally went in, only took 4 different jabs and tons of blood (nah just kidding but I hate it so it looked like a lot to me). So now I have 4.5 ml in my 10 ml band, my surgeon said I could have a fill between 5.5-6.0 ml. I am bummed that I had that pain when he put 5.0 ml in it, because before the unfill I had 6.5 ml in there. But I´ll take what I can. And regarding the port, he says it hasn't flipped but that it just wasn't cooperating and I shouldn't worry about it. Now lets hope that when my surgeon comes in December he can put at least the remaining 2 ml back in there. I don't know how long I should be on liquids since I had such a big fill but I think I will do 4 days of liquids and then try out mushies, lets see how long I can keep it up.

1st bandiversary

Yikes my first bandiversary came and went by without me noticing. I have apparently been super busy. I am happy with my progress, I am sometimes I admit jealous when I see others doing so much better but then I acknowledge that I have not been working out and doing all I can. I am 53 pounds or 24 kg down today from my surgery day. That is awesome! I am almost half way there and wow I didnt think it would happen. It can be super hard to not fall back to my food demon ways but I think even with these 2 weeks being unfilled do to that nasty gallbladder of mine (may it rest in pieces) I have not gained too much after being able to eat again after almost 2 weeks on that lovely IV that made my weight drop so happily (although painfully at the same time).

Anywhoots, I am yeah quite happy with how this first year has turned out. I will have to see if I cant find any pictures to put in here.

Got the all clear and a fill tomorrow

Went to see the surgeon that did my gallbladder removal 4 weeks ago to this day. He gave me the all clear and said I can now start lifting and exercising ( not that I have time to with exams approaching ). He agreed with the GP that it most likely was a rib cage arthritis and I should take a course of anti inflammatory for a while also because I am going to be sitting and stiffening up with study. So.... as soon as I can I am gonna try to gain some of my energy back.

I am also going for a fill tomorrow YAY!! miss my fill. I was told I should put in anywhere from 5.5 ml to 6.0 ml and that my surgeon will be here during the holidays and that he will fill me up and give me a bit more as well since I was not at the right level. This is awesome news sorta... see I have to take that anit-inflammatory and they are probably like 2-3 times as big as my pill. I have seen people say they take all sorts of tablets but I am a wuss and will be somewhat afraid to do that so soon after a fill but we will see how it goes, it is this that is directing me more towards the lower end of a fill.

Anywhoots really have to get back to the books, exams start in 3 weeks and I have so much to do this week, with catching up on the labwork I missed out on and writing reports on that.

Toodles

trying not to be too positive

The last month or so whenever I have become positive that things are looking up. But when I woke up this morning I had slept the whole night without waking up to have any pain meds. I then went to school at 10 am and stayed until 3 pm. I am so much better even with pain meds, I am going to take them for at least tomorrow because I seriously need to attend the first class which is mandatory and it gives you the right to sit the finals. I will try to see how it goes without pain meds on Saturday.

On more fun notes I bought a Lazyboy, I wanted a big comfy chair for my office where I could sit and read. Then I found an armchair that looked comfy and even though I didn't like the colour it was at a very good price only $57. Then I sent my bf to go get it. It turned out to be a Lazyboy and I loooove it. It will also come in handy when I get rid of my most likely Shar Pei like skin hahahaha love that, gosh I want a dog. I so miss my labrador. He has a fabulous new owner (we had to let him go when we decided to go to school in 2010), and she regularly posts something about him on Facebook so we know how he is doing.

Well back to the books while I can

please no more pain

I am getting seriously depressed now. I started having mild back pain and severe pain near my lower ribcage on the left side on Monday. I have not slept well and as I write this the time here is just after 4 am and I can not sleep due to pain. I saw a GP today and she thinks it is just rib cage arthitis but let me tell you this hurts like a mother ****er and there is nothing "just" about that. I have been taking anti inflammatory and codeine tablets but it doesn't work. I am quit sure I am having another gallstone episode, why oh why didn´t they remove them all. I really need to be OK, I am so far behind on school and I seriously need to pass 18 credits this semester or I´ll get not student loans and that would screw up all our finances. Not to mention that if I get anymore behind I am facing a fail in all my courses.
Sorry about the rant guys but I am at my wits end no. Oh yeah forgot to mention I took my son to the GP as well and she thinks the lump is just a swollen gland since there is only one of them so that is good.

lightbulb moment while watching animal planet

I had a lightbulb moment just now. We were watching Animal Planet a show called Too Cute! and it was about these adorable puppies of different breeds. Then I saw these 10 week old Shar Pei puppies run and I laughed out loud and said to my boyfriend "thats how I am going to look once I´ve lost all this weight" his response was something on these lines "yup super cute". I think he just made up for that hippo reference he made last winter (he meant I was as bad tempered or something on those lines when I he called me a hippo).

how cute is this breed

still unfilled

So I went to see my surgeon today as he is in Iceland for patient check ups. I was supposed to be filled somewhat if not all, but nope not even a single drop was put back in. He felt I was still too swollen and since I have a referral for a free x-ray fill he wants me to do just that next week and see him again when he comes during the holidays. So now my willpower will be put to the test. I am not loving the fact that I have already gained back almost 8 pounds after coming home from the hosptial but hey I should be happy I havent put on all that weight I lost.

So now I am a bit bummed and somewhat depressed since I have still no fill and I kinda feel like a part of me is missing in a way, because with the band I am so conscious about how and what I eat and now I am not.

And to add to that, my son found a lump the size of a blueberry in the back of his neck last night and I am going to take him to see a doctor, the hypochondriac me is not loving this, he also has a weird lump/swelling thing on the lower  part of his back/spine area. I am kinda anxious about this all but trying to be positive.