something is wrong with my band

Well that did not go as planned. I went for a fill and x-ray and had the best technician IMO, well he is apparently a x-ray doctor. He got in the port in like one jab I was seriously impressed (have been to him twice before and he rocks).
Anywhooot, I proceeded to give me 4,5 cc as planned then had me drink that nasty contrast fluid. Well lo and behold it didnt go down in 3 pushes, not even 10, more like 5 minutes and billion pushes.
So he took out 1,4cc and then everything went down in one go, again not ideal but I was not going to put any more in there since I am starting finals tomorrow and he agreed that I should take it super slow because after my last unfill in October they were able to put 4,5cc in it in one go.
So now I am quit lost  and not sure what is going on. He said it didnt look like I had a slipped band and if I did it would be minor and he like my surgeon said that ERCP cant damage the band so I am even more lost. Seems like my band just doesnt like me and I am not happy at all.

Update: My surgeon emailed me and said my band looks great and everything is in order. I emailed him back asking if he had any ideas as to what might be the cause of me handling smaller and smaller fills. He basically said I should just give it time and wait. WAIT! I am the most impatient person I know but I will give it a try. Stupid gallbladder messing with my progress. I totally blame this all on my former gallbladder may it rest in pieces. 

procrastinating

I am so so so procrastinating this whole exam thing. 

Thinking of changing my fb profile pic, but not sure if I should lol I am such a chicken. Maybe I should just get back to studying hahaha 

fill and X-ray on Monday

Got a call this morning from the clinic saying my doc had made an appointment for me for a fill. I knew I was going for an X-ray to see if anything is wrong but wasnt sure about a fill so I sent him an email. He said he wants to put 4.5ml(cc) in and the technician will record the shadow liquid thingy going down and take pictures and send him it. He seems certain that nothing is wrong that this is just some freaky one off but I am not sure. I am also kind of scared having a fill there again, since last time I went there it took 40 minutes and six jabs and the technician flipped my port so no it can only be accessed by a 45° angle, which is so not as easy as it was before.

Will probably not blog anything until after the fill, I am swamped in prepping for finals, my first one is on Tuesday and its biochemistry and man oh man it has so much stuff to remember and it only gives me 6 credits while the one on Friday is introduction to pharmaceutical chemical analysis and that one is easier but gives me 8 credits "sigh" who makes these decisions.

Have an awesome stress free weekend for me

First day of summer

it is officially the first day of summer. Unfortunately the weather doesnt seem to know it. I long for warm weather and I so so so hope that we can go to Florida May next year. 

Weigh in Tuesday

Day of surgery: 127 kg or 280 pounds 
Today: 111.6 kg or 246.0 pounds
Gain last week: +0.6 kg or +1.3 pounds
Total loss: 15.4 kg or 34 pounds
Lowest weight was 231 pounds before the un-fill in October

Well that was a gain. But I am determined not to gain more until I get some news about what is happening with my band. 

I keep having these bad scenarios running through my mind like, the band has started to erode, or that it has a bad slip or something on those lines, but I have been doing things by the book so those things shouldnt happen right? well only time will tell. I am supposed to send him an email next week to get an appointment for an X-ray.  Not really sure what is going to happen, I don´t think I want anything put into the band until he has looked at the x-rays himself, I don´t trust the technicians here to tell me if my band is aligned right or not. 

Soooo yeah, I am swamped with prepping for finals which begin a week from now and two weeks from now I will be done. I will be doing my damned hardest to not give into temptation. I don´t want anymore gain I was half way there darn it before that blasted gallbladder made all this crap happen, pardon my french. 

Gleðilega páska (happy easter)

I am going to study until noon (that gives me one hour) then I am going to enjoy the day with my family and enjoy cooking for 11 people. 

Hope you have a fantastic Easter with your loved ones 

Gleðilega páska (happy easter) 

Feeling way better

I am feeling so much better after that whole too tight episode. I am also I have to admit quite confused. I just cant find a reason for my band to behave that way. I am not loving having anything in it but at least I can have some nourishment. I am trying to behave and have only had my half cup of food each time. This however means I am constantly hungry but I dont want to start eating too large of a meal and start gaining any weight.

I am so scared that something is wrong with my band and it wont work properly again. I have no idea what I would do if that is the case. I just need to not think about it for a while (well try not to think about it).

I am still so nauseous, I am taking two ranitidine based tablets a day or Zantac if you are familiar with that name. I am also having AB-milk thats sour milk (thick buttermilk or clabber) with lactobacillus acidophilus and bifidobacterium bifidum bacteria that is super good for your stomach and intestine.

Easter are upon us. My sick sick SICK head started whispering bad things in my ear as soon as I started feeling better after that un-fill. "now you don´t have to share an easter egg", " you can eat it all yourself and the bf can just buy his own" et cetera. But since I am a stubborn, I refuse to listen to that head and I AM sharing my easter egg and therefore only getting a hell of a lot less chocolate than if I went and bought the egg I am used to eating.

Well I guess I really should stick my nose back into the study books, only 10 days till my first final and 16 days till my last and 17 days till I start working. WHY did I say yes to start working the day after finals?? I really have to start saying no sometimes, but I will get more money so its all good. We are so determined to take the kid to Florida next May for his confirmation gift. My gosh my kid is getting confirmed in a years time holy moly.

Total unfill again!

Well my surgeon called me just after 7:30 am this morning and had me come over to the house he is staying at. There he first tried to take just 1cc but that was not enough I started sliming like mad and had to run to the bathroom. So he decided to do a total un-fill and I agreed, he has me on antacid tablets for 10 days and then wants me to get an x-ray to try and see what is going on. I am so scared that the surgeon that did my ERCP damaged the band in some way. But right now I am just relived and am thinking of taking a tiny nap since I didnt sleep at all last night. And yeah this un-fill totally ruined my long sleeve T-shirt

Hope your week has been better than mine :)

beginning to panic

I have yet to hear from my doctor. It is 3:30 am here and I can not fall asleep, I am hungry but worse I am nauseous. I am clinging to the hope that my doctor is still in the country so he can help me if not I am seriously screwed since the office that does fills and un-fills is closed till Tuesday.
I swear I feel like there is something stuck in my throat but not sure what that could be, most likely just a feeling but that, the pains I get when trying to drink plus my nausea is scaring the living daylights out of me.

All I can do is keep praying

I want to cry

I am so frustrated, I am clearly blocked and I can get nothing down well if you count the micro sips I take in then I guess I can get something in but since yesterday I have only gotten in like 300 cc thats just 10 oz and these micro sips dont go down that easy and give me slight chest burn. I have sent my doctor an email and private message on fb, I am hoping he has not returned to the UK because if so then I am fucked since everything is closed here until Tuesday and I will be severely cranky from discomfort and pain and lets not mention how hungry I am.

So I will just keep praying that something can be done soon. This is the second time I have regretted having my band, guess thats not that bad considering the other time was on day to post op when I had infection and all that. This band of mine is seriously bipolar. I have had 6.5 cc in it and wanted more because it was not giving me enough restriction and now 6 months later I am finally back to 6.4 cc and it has shut down business all together ARG I truly want to cry.

a fill and not a good one

So I went for a fill today, was stoked that he wanted to put 0.5 in it bringing my total to 6.4 (I was 6.5cc in october last year when I had the total unfill). I sat outside his office sipping water and thought well this might be tiny bit to tight, but then the water went down easy when I took smaller sips. Fast forward 3 hours later and I am in not quite pain but severe discomfort trying to swallow a thin protein drink (the consistency of milk). So now I am debating weather I should wait till tomorrow (its 8 pm) to send him an email asking for a slight unfill or if I should just do it right now.

1.5 pounds gone yay and a fill tomorrow

Day of surgery: 127 kg or 280 pounds 
Today: 111.0 kg or 244.7 pounds
Gain last week: -0.7 kg or -1.5 pounds
Total loss: 16.0 kg or 35.3 pounds
Lowest weight was 231 pounds before the un-fill in October

Pretty happy with this loss. Now I am going to pig out HA! well I will try and keep in line, but as soon as I press publish I am heading downstairs to bake at least one cake and will be having cakes and a massive BBQ tonight because today is my bf´s birthday AND my stepdads(and his sisters and brothers yup my dad is a triplet) and my friends and also this BBQ will serve as a final hoorah for my bf´s sisters husband because the lucky bastard is moving to Norway this weekend and my bf´s sister and kids will move this summer ( JEG VIL FLYTTES OGSÅ lol thats "I wanna move too" in Norwegian). 

Well I´ll be here after my fill tomorrow. I have a Q for the doc and it is a funny one. Why do I feel like liquids are getting stuck but solid food goes down easy peasy without any problem? I´m guessing its causer I might be taking to big of a sip but any way I want to know hahahaha

too good to be true

I am super bummed to say I am allergic or more like it intolerant to that healthy ice-cream. I hadn´t eaten it all when I blogged my delight of finding it. Well later on I got so extremely sick in the stomach and I actually had to take one of my precious stash of anti nausea tablets.

Fast forward 2 days, and stubborn me got it in her mind that it wasn't the ice-cream that had me that way more like I was just getting sick or something so I bought another one and even though it was not so bad that I was forced to take another anti nausea tablet but boy oh boy was I sick. So no more yummy guilt free ice-cream for me boo hoo hoo

RIP yummy guilt free dessert

Guilt free ice cream

I am in heaven right now. This is soooo good. I found this ice cream in the store, it is whey based and it has 22 grams protein and 187.5 kcal per can and it is about half a cup in size and NO sugar, well it has some xylitol but I dont really care. We bought one of each flavor just to see how it was, we were thinking this would be awefule like most healthy stuff hahahaha. Chocolate and strawberry is just freaking awesome. This is my new go to dessert

weigh in Tuesday

Day of surgery: 127 kg or 280 pounds 
Today: 111.7 kg or 246.2 pounds
Gain last week: +0.1 kg or +0.2 pounds
Total loss: 15.3 kg or 33.2 pounds
Lowest weight was 231 pounds before the un-fill in October

Ugh this is so irritating, the lowest I have seen was 101.4 kg (223.5pounds) OK maybe that is not fair since I only got there by being on a IV for close to two weeks but OK then the lowest weight I have maintained while eating was 105 kg (231 pounds) and then this stupid un-fill happened and I gained. I am mortified sometimes that I have not done better. Seeing so many having lost 50-100 pounds on the first year ( I lost 48 pounds not counting that IV weight) then I was unfilled just before my 1st bandiversary and now I kinda feel like I am at square one again. 

Going for another fill when the doc comes back to Iceland cause even though this one is giving me some restriction I am starving every 3 hours (only eat a half cup of food at a time, always have my handy cup there haha). I am so NOT going to gain any more weight, this 0.2  pound gain is bothering me tremendously even though I know Saturday I was 0.8 pounds lighter than today.

Ugh sorry bout this blog, it has become a whiners paradise I think hahaha I sometimes feel like I´m bipolar cause I get super positive about this weight journey and other times I think it stinks. But I WILL lose this weight thats that.

internet and self diagnosis

So not sure if you remember but early in January I took a trip to my "in laws" and while loading the car I tried to swing my super heavy school bag onto my back and my left shoulder protested furiously. Well fast forward to April, I am still super sore in it, I can not really use my arm that much, I can hardly grab my seat belt to fasten it since that motion gives me pain, I also wake up a lot to readjust myself cause my favorite sleeping position is having my left arm under my head and that is freaking painful. I am always postponing going to the doctor but guess I really should go have it checked out since I guess it is not fixing it self cause it has been 3 whole months since it happend. I think I might have torn something in my shoulder and this is what I found when I googled the symptoms.


Injuries to the tissue rim surrounding the shoulder socket can occur from acute trauma or repetitive shoulder motion. Examples of traumatic injury include:

• Falling on an outstretched arm
• A direct blow to the shoulder
• A sudden pull, such as when trying to lift a heavy object CHECK
• A violent overhead reach, such as when trying to stop a fall or slide

The symptoms of a tear in the shoulder socket rim are very similar to those of other shoulder injuries. Symptoms include

• Pain, usually with overhead activities CHECK
• Catching, locking, popping, or grinding
• Occasional night pain or pain with daily activities CHECK CHECK CHECK
• A sense of instability in the shoulder CHECK
• Decreased range of motion CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK
• Loss of strength
  
   This should be my motto hahahaha
  
  
  

no gym today

I was going to go outside for a walk instead but then it started raining and I hate walking in the rain, so then I decided I was gonna use my stationary bike but no then I got a migraine accompanied with nausea so I am skipping everything today, not going to the movies with my kid, not studying or anything I need/want to be doing. Taking an extra dose of painkillers and hoping this will go away. I suck at determining if I am about to have a migraine or just a bad headache but I get light sensitive when I have migraines and sometimes nauseated like today. Stupid migraine running in families, even my son landed in hospital when he was like 4 or 5 years old because we thought he had meningitis but it turned out to be a migraine episode, his one and only so far, really hope he wont have any more.  Well thats all the update from me today, going to lie down now and hope this will be over with soon.

I jogged!

for a minute and then the klutz I am I actually somehow hit the emergency stop button and boy was I surprised when the treadmill suddenly stopped, I almost fell over ahaha well someone must have had a chuckle today courtesy of me but I don't mind cause I jogged (a minute must count).

I was in no mood to go, I went after school and it was noon when I arrived and I was sure there were tons of people, there werent tons but our combined weight might have been. I like this gym and I am sticking with it. But I have yet to graduate to showering there so instead I drive home sweating my ass of and use my own shower, I am not a fan of prison style showers.

weigh in Tuesday, new goal and a trip to the gym

Well that is a long title isn't it. Lets do this in order then lol

I weighed 111.6 kg (246 pounds) this morning, that means that since last Tuesday I have lost 1.4 kg (3.1pounds), it also means I am still 6.6 kg (14.5 pounds) heavier than I was in october when I was unfilled. I decided that it might be better to have the weigh ins closer to Monday to try and keep me in check haha cause I at least am less likely to eat rubbish right before weigh ins so I am going to do them every Tuesday from now on.

My bf challenged me to make the two digits before June 1st. and thats 1.46 kg (3.2 pounds) per week starting from today. I am realistic so I am not optimistic but I will do my darned hardest to get as close to it as I can. I have also made a promise to myself that even if I wont make it then I will still be glad for each kg/pound that I lose and not mope around and stuff my face with candy "cause I messed it all up again".

I went to the gym this morning, I nearly pooped my pants walking in there, I was so afraid to look up and in the end it was a great day there, I was by no means the largest nor the smallest but the vibe was good. I spent 20 min on the treadmill and then did some light weight training and it only took 51 minutes in total I was super pleased, and I burnt 578 kcal so that is a good beginning. I will buy a membership thingy there next week when my free week is over, am also going to make an appointment with a trainer/physiotherapist and have him/her set up a program for me. They have this awesome key system and you just plug your key into the machine and it tells you what you should be doing now and it saves all your data so you can see how much you did last week and how far you have come.